The Divorce Survival Kit

When a relationship breaks down there are so many legal and emotional things to deal with that many people stuggle to see the way forward. The Divorce Survial Kit is designed to give you some practical help and advice.

You will find advice on the divorce process along with a budgeting sheet which will help you to work out and perhaps restructure your your finances in the short term until a final agreement is reached between you and your spouse. You will also find some useful precedent letters and documents such as letters advising third parties such as Banks, Insurers and Utilities Company that you your are no longer in a relationship and we also provide a free Change of Name precedent for you to complete should you wish to revert to your former name prior to your marriage.

Before you proceed there are some questions you and your spouse should ask yourselves:

Is there any chance of resolving our difficulties?
Would a marraige cousellor help?
Should we have a trial separation?

If you think you may be able to resolve your difficulties give yourselves time to work through any issues - the divorce process will still be open to you if things don’t work out!

Dealing with the initial decision to separate

Generally there are three types of circumstances you may find yourself in when you are faced with the fact that your relationship may be coming to an end.

You have reached the decision that the relationship is over and you have decided to tell your spouse that you want a trial separation or have decided you want to divorce
Both you and your spouse have decided that the relationship has come to an end
Your spouse wants to end the relationship and you have just been told of your spouses decision

How we react to the ending of a relationship depends on whether we are in group 1, 2 or 3.

Very often the hardest group to be in is group 3 as the news may have come completely out of the blue and you may feel desparate to save your relationship and are feeling very lonely and isolated. You may feel your life is like a jigsaw that has fallen apart and you feel that you can’t even begin to think of piecing it back together again.

If you are in group 2 and you and your spouse have made a joint decision to separate you will not be sufering from the intial shock that the relarionship has ended but you and your spouse may still react in different ways over the separation. Sometimes the reality that you are now separated may not hit you until a little while in the future.

If you are group 1 you will probably already have travelled through the most difficult times and will be starting to piece your life back together but you may feel guilty about your decision.

It is worth remembering the different stages and emotions we feel when we are faced with a traumatic event and if you understand where you both are in the process you may find it easier to cope with.

Even if you are ready to move on to the next stege and start divorce proceedings your spouse may still need time to adjust to their new circumstamces. If this is the case it may be better to wait for them to reach the next stage and decide together how you will deal with the divorce proceedings along with financial issues and arrangements for children (if relevant).

The Divorce Process – how does it work

The majority of divorce cases are decided on paper and the parties do not go to court. Just about every divorce case is undefended – many couples argue over who will issue the divorce petition but by the time the court receives the petition it proceeds undefended and will be a paper exercise provided the correct information is given on the divorce petition and subsequent documents.

Can any married person get a divorce?

No – you must satisfy the legal requirements which are:

1. You have been married for at least than 1 year

2. Your marriage has broken down irretrievably which is proved by one of five facts

Adultery
Unreasonable behaviour
Desertion
Two years separation with consent of your spouse
Five years separation without your spouses consent

Do I need my marriage certificate to start the divorce process?

Yes this must be sent to the court when the divorce petition is issued. If you need to obtain a certified copy and you were married in England or Wales you can either telephone or use the precedent letter and fax or send to:

Certificate Services Section
General Register Office
PO Box 2
Southport
PR8 2JD

Telephone : 0845 603 7788
Fax: 01704 550013

The current fee is £11.50

You can also attend in person at:

The Family Records Centre
1 Myddleton Street
London EC1R 1UW
Tel: 0845 6037788

The current fee is £7 and your certified copy will be available 4 days after request

If you were married outside England and Wales you will need to obtain a copy from the country where you married.

Should we agree the finances before we start the divorce process?

Divorce is a very stressful time for the majority of people and the financial affect can have quite an impact as frequently one household is divided into two which may well mean a more modest lifestyle than you both had come to enjoy.

The financial side of the divorce process sits along side the divorce process itself along with the arrangements for any children you have. If your finances are complex it is worth discussing your situation with a solicitor but it can often help to start to discuss posssible arrangments with your spouse with a view to reaching an agreement after you have taken legal advice. The agreement can be set out in a consent order and sent to the court for approval after the date for decree nisi but preferably before decree absolute.

If your finances are quite simple you may well feel confident that you and your spouse can reach an agreement and divide the assets without involving a solicitor.

You will find it helpful to prepare a list setting out your expediture of what it will cost you to live to a similar standard to the standard reached when you were married to see how much income you will require – the budget precedent enclosed will help you through the process.

However, be aware that unless the court approves and seals any agreement reached it will be open to either party to apply to the court and make further financial claims against a spouse. Even if you do not have any assets of the marrage at the time of separation if you wish to avoid any potential claim in the future you should obtain a formal order from the court dismissing all claims.

Should we agree the arrangements for minor children before we start the divorce process?

Yes if possible – children are extremely vulnerable and you should try not to involve then in any dispute you have with your spouse. The court will ask you to confirm what arrangements have been made for the children as part of the divorce process – see below

What’s the process for an undefended divorce?

Divorce Petition is sent to the Court by Petitioner (spouse starting divorce)
Court sends Petition to Respondent (other spouse)
Respondent sends completed documents to Court acknowleding receipt and confirming that they will not defend divorce
Court sends to Petitioner Notice that Petition has been issued and served
Petitioner send to Court Affidavit and Application for Directions for Trial
District Judge considers applications and arragements for children and if satisfied issues certificate of entitlement to divorce and sets a date for decree nisi.
Court pronouces decree nisi
Petitioner makes application for decree nisi to be made absolute 6 weeks and 1 day after date of decree nisi
Decree Absolute is granted

Other Issues to Consider after your divorce.

Make sure you have received your decree absolute as without this you remain married
If you have not applied for a order from the court dismissing all financial applications reconsider and if you are not sure speak to a solcitor – if you win the lottery your spouse may decide to claim against you! If you wish to speak to a solicitor free of charge contact Divorce Advice Solicitors on 0800 999 2169 and ask for a free 15 minute consulation.
Arrange for any property to be transferred – house, life policies, pensions...
Close any joint accounts (banks, credit cards) and notifiy credit reference agencies of your divorce if necessary.
Notifiy your utility providers and Council Tax office if you have not already.
Notify the Benefit Agency if you are receiving any state benefits or tax credits.
Set up any new standing orders as required.
Divide household contents as agreed
Make a will
Make a resolution to move on and enjoy the rest of your life!